Neglect.

» 27 Sep 2011 ; thoughts?

I feel like a parent that has locked their child into a room & only now realized that you left the child there.

I suckkkk. @ the fact that acidiclemons.com has not had the proper updating, care, & maintenance a diligent webmaster should provide.

& so; I do vow to change that. It may not happen immediately (in fact, I'd like to ask my webhost if I can update my hosting to become Wordpress), but it will happen. Life has been an unmerciful blur, & there were times I just didn't give a shit about anything, or anybody.

Right now I'm on campus, & I have this huge gap between now & my next class. I have a ton of work to complete & I'm stalling it by typing this up...but after I started up my Google+ account & found that my website's link popped up...I clicked it expecting that my domain had expired, & my website was pretty much gonna look like shit.

Not the case...entirely.

I'm so behind on my schoolwork right now. I missed an entire week because of illness & stress that exacerbated it. I had a paper due today that I didn't even begin on, so I need to email that professor & hope she gives me an extension. I have an assignment due tonight, on a project in which the topic of study I haven't even chosen. I have a quiz tonight on a 140-page story I'm only halfway through. e.e; I might just have to to Cliff Notes, but this professor's very known to pick out minute details in any story.

& tomorrow I have a quiz that needs studying for, but I don't consider that to be too bad (I just need to give myself time to look over the material).

On top of all this, the stress at home is directly affecting me mentally. My mother is urging me to move to Atlanta, & everyday I'm considering it more & more. I want to move to Kennesaw, where my aunt had lived. She loved the area, so I know I will. When we did visit her, we enjoyed it. It's not far from the good stuff, so there will always be something for me to do. The cost of apartments aren't horrible, & Kennesaw State looks to be a great school.

So I'm thinking about it. Part of me doesn't want to leave Augusta, because my family leans on my support so much. But the other part of me knows that they're grown ass people--& I am, too. I need to start supporting myself instead of having a family that's constantly dependent on me. Do you know that my parents ran up a 1200$ bill on my credit card? It's beyond irresponsible. They're paying it off bit-by-bit, but I see why they get into the situations they get into. I think I'll just go ahead & pay it off; but have them give me the money every month until they've paid their due. It'll help with my groceries, I'm sure.

I am soo antisocial today. Like, I'm avoiding looking at people's faces so they don't say hi. It's probably the PMS rearing its ugly head, but I'm just not in the mood for smiles.

I don't think I'll truly be happy until I move away.

Part of me doesn't want to leave because I'll miss my Loo! We've gotten really close since Buddy died; he'll let me pick him up, & cuddle him. Loo didn't like Buddy that much, but I have a feeling he kind of misses him. Or at least, he's aware that the house is just...different.

I swear I'm not depressed--I'm just at a point in my life where I feel like I can't be productive living at home with people who don't want to be productive. On top of that, I'm craving Domino's Pizza & gummyworms; & on top of all that I gotta catch up to all this stupid schoolwork because of a stupid cold that put me far behind.

/that's life.